If you are a woman of color or have a REAL body you can relate to the frustrations of finding jeans that fit. My girlfriends whom are much smaller than I am will go shopping with me for anything BUT jeans. A day of attempted jean shopping can cause me to return home empty handed and broken hearted. It’s 2008 and the fact more jean companies aren’t making jeans for the more curvaceous women astound me. I tried Gap, Express, New York & Company, Macy’s, JC Penny’s, and a slew of other brands, stores and ’girl I swear by these jeans’ from my less voluptuous posse.
Then finally I decided to try on some urban wear jeans. Why didn’t I start with them you ask? Well I didn’t want to be rocking Apple Bottoms just so people can be looking saying "dang she got an apple bottom". Call me crazy but it seems even the flat booty chics that slip on Apple Bottoms miraculously appear to have an ample backside. And I didn’t want all of that exposure. So I ventured to the less explicit brands. I tried on Derion, now Beyonce’s behind must not wear her ’low-end’ creations cause first off there was NO stretch (1st strike), then my booty was smashed in them (2nd strike), and lastly the most notorious problems with me and jeans is the waist was SUPER big (3rd strike). Beyonce should have known better then that but like Jay said "this ain’t for everybody" and they were definitely not for me. So speaking of Jay, I tried on some Rocawear, to no avail. Jay – Bey ya’ll got'sta do better.
I tried on almost every brand in the store, just to lead me back to Apple Bottoms. I swallowed my pride, found my size and went into the fitting room. Ahhh…. When I say smooth as budda, I mean SMOOTH AS BUDDA. Those Apple Bottom jeans slipped on me with such ease it was as if Nelly’s seamstress had taken my measurements and proceeded to sow them on me. I couldn’t deny the truth: I have an Apple Bottom. Well maybe more like Apple Bottoms are the jeans for me. They had me looking at myself in the mirror dance like that one black chic on the Gap commercial. I was elated finally a pair of jeans I don’t have to dart or worry when I sit my Victoria’s are showing. I have finally found my fit.
I only write this to say to all my Bootilicious woman, don’t fight it, don’t deny it, embrace the fact you have an Apple Bottom. Save some gwap and purchase those $100 jeans cause they are Nelly’s gift to the big booty…Luv ya…Ms. New Bootie